I will not take the liberty of explaining how these sounds map to reality. What I can explain is that men ranging between the ages of 18 to 50 make these sorts of sounds when watching Powder Blue, the straight-to-DVD film that features Jessica Beil in the nude. That’s right, I said nude, dear boys and girls. Gone are the days of 7th Heaven.
The same inhuman activities will now require men around the globe to willingly sit through self-absorbed mediocrity for 107 minutes just to enjoy one magnificent minute of watching a couple of female breasts. I never knew men were so devoted.
She portrays Rose Johnny also known as Scarlett, who is a bare-all stripper at Wild Velvet, the town’s not-so-reputable strip joint, She’s just like every other stripper you have ever met in life, with her very own personal struggles she has been through a lot with her father, she struggles with addiction, she wants someone to love her and she has to pay the medical expenses for her son who is in a coma. Wait, we might be taking the fact that she has a son in a coma too far, huh? Well, writer and director Timothy Linh Bui thought that his film had to be more complicated for some reason. As if a movie about four strangers was not complicated enough.
That Steve’s Doheny (Ray Liotta) character is a Jack, an ex convict trying to put some pieces together with his family before the grim reaper comes calling. After his wife dies Charlie (Forest Whitaker) is an ex priest attempting to grapple with why God did this to him. And Qwerty Doolittle (Eddie Redmayne), yes, that’s right, Qwerty Doolittle is a socially inept mortician who is struggling financially.
As I said, they all get together in one way or another in Powder Blue. Not in a natural way, mind you. For example, it was one of those, how do I put it, tricked and overly intricate, made-for-the-screen sort of things. I guess, and perhaps I am wrong, Linh Bui had to ram it home that every single person, regardless of who they are, has problems with dealing with grief and desire that, to some, appears odd and ridiculous.
Biel, without a doubt, is in the middle of most of the action and to her credit, does her best. Her performance is everything other than Oscar but she definitely does try to at least think like the person she is portraying and try to do something with the multi-layered character she has. Because of the sheer awful writing, directing and nonsensical preset she is always going to be mocked for trying to be serious. Everyone seems to suffer from the same dilemma. Everyone except people like Forest Whitaker, Patrick Swayze, and Alejandro Romero. There’s good and bad writing, but Whitaker demonstrates that he can overact convincingly in both. Here, as in Street Kings, they especially evidence bad writing. Did you not win an Oscar? While Swayze has the time of his life playing Velvet Larry, the club owner, and Romero puts on a show as a transvestite called Lexus, both of them tease the cameras in their blonde wigs and super tight outfits. Swayze is funny and seems like he’s having fun, while Romero just doesn’t get what’s going on.
Even with a finally topless Biel in the mix, it is evident that the theatrical premiere for ‘Powder Blue’ was never going to happen. I suspect that because of her, it will make a mint from DVD sales, but it is too bad her assets were wasted on this project. Do yourself a favor and wait for the naked screen captures or YouTube videos of her wax-infused dance scenes no one should have to put up with a poorly made flick just for some T&A.
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