Directors Marisa Crespo and Moisés Romera comprise of the idea that there is no greater hell than family gatherings during the holidays and seem to have developed the film ‘You are not me’ with the idea of how family distance physical or emotional can toll the family members to indulge in hidden violence, both physical and verbal. Like ‘Christmas Eve in Miller’s Point,’ there is a fine sense of inherent loneliness and isolation that ‘You are not me’ captures remarkably, where even the slightest of compassion feels like it is set too violently deep. The mix of the two elevates the film from just another holiday horror movie, and is reason enough for why this movie is worth the watch, although at times it does meander around the conclusion and gets a bit too deep for the audience.
In what begins as a Hallmarkesque venture into family territory before delving deep into a creepy invasion flick/Shamanistic Folk Horror mashup, the narrative follows Aitana Rosier Tapias returning to her family after 3 years with Gabi (Yapoena Silva) and Baby João. It is Christmas time and Gabi and João are all set to meet Aitana’s parents for the first time. However, tensions were much longer brewing as Aitana’s parents were against their daughter being queer and disallowed any relationships. There is hope this time, it is the holidays, and Aitana believes some sort of compromise would take place, she could get through to them. However, that was cut short the moment Aitana, Gabi, and João lay eyes on Nadia (Anna Kurikka) who was another guest at Aitana’s parents’ place.
As far as I can tell, there has been a role reversal between Aitana and Nadia, as the latter’s parents tend to spoil Aitana while in her presence. The case is worse considering that Aitana’s parents have become rather detached from their child after the novelty of her appearance wore off. Their agitation and general annoyance at the all too grateful demeanor that is expressed is barely disguised or even soomanipulatively ostensibly forced gratitude such as ‘You should have stayed away’ feel like comprehensible exclamations rather than appreciation. In spite of such rudeness, Aitana and Gabi decide to spend the holidays together as a family but do begin to wonder if there is more to the relationship of Nadia and her parents than what meets the eye.
At the time that Aitana grapples with figuring out why her hateful parents have brought Nadia in her place, her parents are preoccupied with another concern: her sexuality which they seem to have an issue with. Despite their efforts to disguise their disappointment, they manage toclearly bear their disapproval with Aitana. They give Aitana’s wedding dress as a present to Nadia whose disaster they do help guide to a daughter who identifies as hetero. The most unsettling thing is that Aitana’s parents seem to be so mad in what they do for no apparent reason. It leaves instances such as this, where they coolly ask Aitana and Gabi to book a hotel when Nadia visits Aitana in her dorm room, to not only appear as crazy but utterly insane.
At its core, the question that the film wants to tackle is ‘who is Nadia and why are Aitana’s parents so attached to her?’ and breathes life into this rather thin thread for the entirety of the film. All the same, Crespo and Romera do not let the feeling of unease quite dissipate so even if this feeling does get rather monotonous, it never becomes stale. They have some of their shots be quite influential in that they allow the camera to remain a tad too long in moments when it would make sense to have cut away, as if goading us to try something evil and hoping that it does in fact come forth out of the shadows. Vilà’s score is elevated to new heights almost always through strings in vexatious manners, sounding like a battalion of hailed newborns crying out in the night.
In most cases, the picture restricts its brutality to isolated fantasies and biting comments from families, exploring how these hopes can be employed as a form of attack. This is all encapsulated by Tapias, who is a revelation here as Aitana. Aitana exhibits a firm self-assurance in the midst of her anxiety to please her family (there is an impression that she has outgrown her days of self-denial for the sake of her family) and she demonstrates so well how that applies to me whenever I go back home, there is always a temptation to regress. The film overall is not very good and is rather slightly more restrained in its pace than it should be, but, all things considered, “You Are Not Me” is one of the more cringe-inducing films released in the recent holidays, in which class understands that the hug of a family sometimes feels tighter rather than warmer.
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