Immortals
Immortals
Last weekend, I caught a glimpse of “Immortals” and I must admit I was a bit vexed about the whole experience. The audience was overwhelmingly present and by the peak of the film I was having to clamp my mouth shut in-between laughs so as not to offend other patrons who were less cynical.
“Immortals” is essentially a filler movie that tries to bank in, the ancient-greece centric mega action adventure film of sword wielding men built of muscle killing stuff in potential blockbusters like ‘300’ and ‘Clash of the Titans’. Now, I don’t dislike such stylized and romanticized killing for the sake of popcorn in a movie, but it is such that in a film named “Immortals”, there is a figurative pollution control system around the violence that is unable to do its job of keeping the blood and feaces out only making matters worse.
The story is really just the original ‘Clash of the Titans’ infused with its remake and having some scenes from ‘300’ instead of the frame. One of the mortals a man with some moral discomfort with wearing shirts is, is picked up by the gods to save the world form the evil. In this particular incarnation: Thus, Theseus (Henry Cavill), quien to be the bastard child who isn’t keen on oppression & just knows contemporary fighting for some unknown reason & cuts off grown men’s heads.
King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) who is also a bastarchild – did I mention he has a hobby of murdering pregnant ladies and quite enjoys it. On the other hand, for romance there is a sawed off, temperate seer/oracle/psychic/plot device Phaedrea played with Freida Pinto in the movie, could not have children because if she did and she has sex, she would lose her power со, Kelly Hu as a sorceress in The Scorpion King .
The primary distracter of the film which turned any aspects to be boring watching into a light comedy is the subjects. It is not often that the greek gods have been presented so shamefully and incorrect since the nineties cartoons. First of all, while the Goddess Athena’s character is associated with wisdom, strength, courage, etc.
She is cast as feminine ‘daddy’s princess’, which Zeus was convinced that neither he nor the other gods should get involved with mortals. All the gods remain in this – god – “Yumble” despite, as are only a few ‘here’ all the gods are impersonated by barely legal era models in Babylonia and high exposing gold miniskirts of their tights barley three quarters.
As if that was not enough for your eye addiction, these boy toys (& Athena) all have some really silly headpieces/hard hats on. And when they do eventually get to fighting, it’s more often than not going to look quite a bit cartoony.
I mean, I can even list hundreds of petty things to twits this film. Such as Phaedrea’s miraculous sole garments still mysteriously clean after the girl leapt into a pit of tar. For example, that Theseus is on top of the door and is shouting all the politics to the troops; his army can see right into his skirt.
Or the most inexplicably ridiculous supposition that the lost mystical bow placed in a central focus of the temple was where a very obvious rock protruding but it was built of totally different stone than what the rest of the building complex was built with. Let me tell you if I were to write an article going through every problem with ‘Immortals’, it would become almost impossible to fit on a paper as it would be too large.
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- Genre: Documentary
- Country: United States
- Director: Maja Tschumi
- Cast: Mohammed Al Khalili, Melak Mahdi
