At one point, the prolific barrage of SyFy shows containing monster names that begin with the prefix mega or end with the suffix Saurus has succeeded in formulating a new benchmark, albeit low, for creature feature quality. While sifting through reviews for these meager budget monster movies, one can often come across comments such as, decent enough for a SyFy flick or no worse than any of the two dozen other giant beast SyFy movies I’ve dozed off to.
No matter what your thoughts on this may be, the truth of the matter is SyFy creature flicks are, unfortunately, shell devoid of depth. The filmmakers have easily provided a convenient way out for people who placed high hopes for these films and disappointed by the lack of depth in the film.
If The Asylum (who are not the producers of this film) and SyFy show us anything about post-2010 made-for-TV monster movies, it is that there should sure be caution tape that reads “no admittance” around blocking expectations. The chances of something of the caliber of a Gareth Edward “Godzilla” epic are just not in the cards, now or ever. Most likely does live up to Toho’s original masterpiece back in 1954; regardless of how epic that may be. Then, considering all of that, the best and possibly only way to summarize “Poseidon Rex” is to say that it is middle of the road for a SyFy movie, and definitely better than one of the twenty-four different behemoth fanatical pieces of art that I have forced myself to drift into uncontrollable slumber for.
As always, the plot is as predictable as it gets, which is great due to it sparking the kaiju frenzy. Brian Krause is a legendary treasure hunter who appears to be in business with Central American gangsters who love guns, cocaine, and poorly written dialogue. To pay off his debt, the snorkeling Indiana Jones packs his friends with guns, sticks of dynamite, and sand scuba tanks and, out of their minds, heads to the ocean and shoots a ultra ancient beast while recovering Mayan gold from a sunken ship.
While on vacation, a couple and a boat captain find Krause´s body and take him to shore. There, a beautiful blonde scientist sews him back together. While Krause is trying to piece together what happened, he captures the couple’s interest when he mentions gold. At this point, everyone seemed to take everything he said at face value, and they proceeded to retrace his steps to where the crime took place.
I could write another paragraph that would summarize the fight with the crime lords, the ever so predictable Army spectacle, and of course, after all this, the Poseidon Rex mainland rampage. But I am sure anyone who has watched these movies at least once managed to connect the dots already.
“Poseidon Rex” is the conventional romp kind of movie that has unnecessary lines of dialogue like there he is when the character is fully visible to everyone present. Or dull lines like Oh my God which serves as a reaction to a severed limb stuffed in a plastic bag. To hit the clichéd writing trifecta, the veteran Coast Guard officer’s quote, in all my years working these parts, I have never seen anything like this,” caps it all. His delivery even includes Shatner pauses which are likely due to English as a second language rather than being an intended choice of delivery. Stan Winston would roll over in his grave if he could see how, even twenty years after “Jurassic Park,” budget creature technology is still so far behind Poseidon Rex. Poseidon Rex is easily marketable with its cool enough design, even if it is nothing more than a tamed dinosaur fused with a spine of fins. Still, the creature’s behavior does not provide much personality. It is questionable if the creature is vaguely suggested to be a mother protecting its eggs, but otherwise, Rex is a gigantic purposeless monster that literally chews up purposely made action scenery.
In attempting to recreate the cult phenomenon of Sharknado, everyone seems to overlook that the appeal of that movie lies within its sheer outrageousness. The very premise of a tornado composed of sharks is so wonderfully ridiculous that the viewers have no option but to accept the absurd right from the beginning. Good natured acceptance is something that can never be expected when the big bad is simply a dinosaur crossed with a sea creature.
Director Mark L. Lester fails to establish that tone in the film. Some of the performers do know what they are a part of. Quite a few take things far too seriously without having the acting talent to remotely justify their sincerity. When a boat gets attacked, there is a lot of Star Trek-style shaking that is accompanied by overly exaggerated pantomime from the actors who are in a scene with a computer-generated dinosaur. Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes it’s amusing for entirely different reasons. Anyway, there is no denying that “Poseidon Rex” could have used a more fine-tuned approach to blend all the participants involved.
At the end of the day, everything is just how I had envisioned it. Although this comment may not be the most flattering remark that one could offer, it does not completely dismiss my impression of things. There is sharp underwater photography, and two surprise attacks make for engaging sequences. Also, who would blame someone for attempting to produce a mediocre SyFy monster movie while enjoying the sun and surf in Belize during his free time?
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