It’s probably easier to keep track of how many horror movies have friends going into the woods and coming out alive since that has become the norm nowadays. While some still manage to keep the plot engaging with unique deaths and great conclusions, there are quite a few that end up on the opposite side of the spectrum. Let’s be honest, Witches in the Woods does at least manage to finish off strong.
A bunch of college “friends” set off into the snowy woods with plans for snowboarding, drinking, and relaxing by the fireplace. However, when one of them insists on taking a sketchy detour, they find themselves stuck in a broken SUV, with degrading temperatures, and plenty of animosity amongst the group. Initially, the cabins inhabited by the dicks, bitches, and cheaters seem like more than enough to keep the fragile Alison (Sasha Clements) safe. She is still coming to terms with the judgment and aftermath of claiming some of her classmates assaulted her.
In the movie, director Jordan Barker and writer Christopher Borrelli include a quote from Robert Oxton Bolton that states “Belief is not merely an idea that the mind possesses it is an idea that possesses the mind.” This is what seems to pass as a theme for the movie. Even though it does not completely blend with the story until the last few frames, it stays an ambitious idea for a “cabin in the woods” scenario.
This isn’t the end of the ride yet. The SUV ‘cabin’ that goes into the snowbank ends up breaking the axle leaving the gang frozen in the middle of nowhere, whilst the outcome is the same: they’re still screwed. Unfortunately for everyone involved, mutuality exists as the characters attempt to go out of their way to annoy everyone, including the viewers. Constant bickering and worse leave you wondering why these people would have possibly agreed to a shared vacation seeing as their value as characters only decreases from there. Not watching the road is already one thing, but handing over the keys to a sick and disturbed Alison is a clear “hell no” stamp. Now, throw in my least favorite horror, a character that is disabled by not one but two bear traps (which are designed to be opened by humans), characters finding excuses to split up even when their number is dwindling, and a misguided protagonist that accidentally bumps off a friend. Now all you have to do is sit back and let the script do the work. It really doesn’t get better than this, or worse I should say. And while yes, it’s unfortunate as it lessens the movie the fact that the performances were solid for the most part is what intrigues me.
A quick trip to the gas station is quite rewarding as it opens the history of the area including a witch trial that features a woman set ablaze for her alleged supernatural antics. And it’s the center of the madness right here. With the sharpness of a knife, Alison’s behavior begins to grow bizarre and life-threatening leading to some among them to conclude she’s a witch! Borrelli’s script does give allowance for a fun and engaging rebuttal from one of the relatively smart aliens among them, Jill, played by Hannah Kasulka, who counters others’ antics are every bit as suspect, which paints an amusing picture but is surrounded by rather dim experience. The other, as mentioned at the top, is the other is the film’s ending, which puts the cherry on the top by effectively completing the central theme of the movie, although the film does stumble a bit on the hardcore part along with narrative support.
Those two highlights aren’t enough reason to give Witches in the Woods a watch for me personally, as the frustration and annoyance that the film brings along supersedes any positive aspect. The film earns points for trying to be original, but a complete reliance on obnoxious characters leaves a gap for the viewers that it just cannot seem to make up for.
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